Unmotivated: having no motive or incentive.
This is my mindset today. At least towards some things, i.e., the two mile run I’m scheduled to do, mopping the floors and doing anything other than playing around on the computer while my little ones rest. *Sigh* I suppose unmotivated isn’t the correct word. Bummed, down in the dumps…
Why so down? My baby boy had to have several teeth extracted first things this morning. He has ameliogenisis imperfecta, a genetic condition that entails a lack of enamel on his teeth. Last year, we dealt with abscesses, root canals and caps on his molars. That was the first time he had to be put to sleep. Today was the second time. More abscesses and three fractured teeth had to come out. It’s hard to explain to a four year old a) why his teeth are small, brown and don’t look like everyone else’s teeth, b) why his teeth and gums hurt everyday, and c) why he is now missing three teeth and that I can’t just put them back in his mouth. It’s also hard to watch your little one in pain. For over year, my son has complained daily, numerous times per day, about tooth aches.
So my day started off taking my brave little man to an oral surgeon. I sat back with him in the room, watched him get hooked up to EKG leads, have his vital signs assessed, and watched him get “a breathing treatment” to put him to sleep. That’s when I had to exit to the waiting room. I wanted to cry, and I guess I still do. I know there are much worse health conditions out there. My son is otherwise very healthy, and I’m so grateful for that. Still…it’s heartbreaking to watch him struggle, to have something hurting him everyday.
So here I sit, at the computer with one baby napping, the other resting on the couch after his most recent lortab dose, in a funky state of mind and low spirits. In a few days, the swelling in my son’s face will be better, he won’t be (hopefully) in as much pain, and things will be back to normal. Eventually, I’ll be back at the oral surgeon’s office for more extractions. I already know this. Hopefully it’ll be a while. A long while. But we’ll not think of that now. No, I think I’ll go back to snuggling my favorite four year old and watch episodes of Avatar with him and hope tomorrow is a happier day.